Breaking up with Older Versions of Yourself

Are you still carrying it around?

That experience, that person, that time in your life that caused you so much pain?

I know how that feels. It can be a heavy burden. What’s weird about hanging on to the past is that although it can do us so much damage, we either feel safe and repeating that pattern is satisfying some behavioural code that we feel the need to hold on to.

It’s subconscious.

We may not even be aware that we are stuck in a loop of destruction. Should you even consider breaking up with that old version of yourself?

I prefer to think of it as letting go of something that is no longer serving you.

Let me give you an example.

At 15, I sat in the headmistresses office. Sat on a plush velvet green sofa, which was supported by well polished mahogany I heard the words trail out of her mouth.

“Jennifer will never get a state exam”

It was like a punch to the stomach. She was telling my parents, that not only was I a distraction to the class but that I was incapable of amounting to anything.

In that moment I took in those words as a young girl and from a woman in authority and decided she was right. I let her words dictate my outcomes.

The impact? 28 years of not feeling good enough.

Did I get the state exams? Yes, but not without bashing myself at every hurdle. Her voice billowing in the cobwebs of the past, whispering to me.. you’re not good enough.

How do you break up with that version of yourself?

You don’t. What you need to do is take him/her by the hand and remind that version of you that it all turned out ok.

The best part is I came to forgive that woman, for she knew not what impact it would have on me.

I set myself free and I set her words free.

The beauty of QTT therapy, the daily practice of self-love and compassion keeps me free and the ghosts of the past remind me what I am capable of.

If you’re interested in letting go, asking questions or want a session send me a message to jenny@jennybrennan.me